Stump Full of Grandaddies

By The Hillbilly Dude | Published September 3, 2025

When I was a young'un, church preachers would often make their rounds 'round town, or visitin' in the community. It was during one of these such occasions that the preacher stopped by my Granny's house.

To me, my Granny was the jolliest person I'd ever known. She'd laugh at everthang somebody'd say, bouncin' up and down a little bit in her chair. But I never could tell if she knew exactly what people were talkin' about, because she'd almost always have a puzzled look on her face.

At Christmas, she'd never label anybody's presents, thinkin' she'd remember. I don't think that worked out - not a single time. It was fun watchin' one of the boys open a perfectly-wrapped box with a bow, only to discover a dainty little dress or grown-up cologne.

During the energy crisis of the 1970s, she'd take the same light bulb from room to room and screw it in the lamp so there'd be light. So it caused a pretty big catastrophe the day Dad accidentally dropped it.

When she was ready to leave from somewheres, she'd say, "Well. I've had about as much fun as I can stand."

But on this particular day, Granny had spent a bunch of time fancyin' up her hair. She'd only style her dark black hair for the people lookin' at her head on - so it'd be just perfect for anybody that saw her from the front. But from the side or the back? Maybe not so much. But that didn't matter to Granny. Looked good from the front, and 'at's all she needed.

So when the preacher came in, they exchanged their niceties. Then she asked him, "how's my hair look?"

The preacher took a look, and couldn't help but notice that besides the very front, that black hair was pretty much all willy nilly, goin' in ever direction. So he thought for just a minute, then said, "why your hair looks like a stump full o'grandaddies!"

Granny just chuckled, lightly pattin' each side of her head, "why thank you!"